It’s Okay, To Not Be Okay!

I gained 20 pounds; that’s not a big deal to most people. However, it has made me feel insecure. I haven’t taken a picture in lingerie in months. I already don’t like what I see in the mirror. There’s no way I’ll enjoy my body much more if I wear cute lingerie. I decided to give it a try! I could only take two pictures without feeling wholly uncomfortable and repulsed by my body. I know, I know dramatic, but that’s how I felt at that moment. I told myself, no way that will be my perception of my body. I decided to wait until my hair appointment to buy myself a nice robe and a sexy teddy. Face glammed for the gods, and if I still feel bad about my body, I know I have some work ahead of me. Self-talks in the mirror, better-eating habits, and workouts. The day came.
I got a haircut, a color retouch, bought a beautiful silky robe, and a lilac teddy. I was so excited to arrive home. I got home took a nice long relaxing shower. I was entirely inspired by my lingerie. The eyeshadow was a lilac, with a purple tone blush and pink base nude lipstick. My eyes looked a spectacular shade of brown; my curls the best they looked in months. My skin was radiating. I felt just as beautiful as I did a year ago when I posted my first lingerie picture online. I took so many pictures. I felt powerful and published four of them. As my body changes, I realize that the journey to self-love will never be linear. I’m constantly evolving, and there will be moments that I don’t like where I’m at; emotionally, financially, mentally, and physically. It’s okay to not be okay.