Broken Heart, Broken Soul

I want to believe that I’m beautiful, that I deserve the best. I want to believe I could be desired, that someone can truly love me. I look at myself and see an average woman. Nothing truly special or remarkable. I reflect on my feelings and realize I’m a selfish, needy, lost, sad soul. I am complimented for my friendly personality. I am told that I’m beautiful. I get asked why I am single? I reply and say I’m crazy. No one bats an eye. No one even wonders why? They just accept this truth and go on with their lives; while I replay the abuse that drove me into this state of mind. I desire protection, affection, intimacy, love because I’ve never truly experienced these things. I love blindly, madly, unconditionally, selfishly because that’s how I’ve been “loved.” I’m a broken heart, a broken soul.