Better To Be In Bad Company, Than No Company?
I’ve reached a new breaking point I didn’t see coming. I’m giving up on love and relationships. It’s not something I imagined myself saying or even doing, but after years of trying and ultimately failing. Whether it be because I’m taken advantage of, or the idea of me is more appealing than who I am. I’ve given so much love, trust, and energy; I don’t have any left for myself. I’ve always been selfless with my love, trust, and even money. I became selfless with my body, and as a result, I feel like I am something to have rather than someone to love. I decided to push anyone away on the rare occasion I was made to feel like I was worthy of love. With my mental health constantly being so chaotic, I question myself. I felt less than and unworthy of being treated like I always treated others. I’ve also been the explosive one. It happens when I feel unseen, unheard, and unwanted. I’m not perfect, but I’ve put myself in a position that has allowed people to disrespect me, deliberately or not. Sometimes it’s better to be in bad company than no company.