Everyone tells me I should be grateful for the things I have, which makes me feel like absolute scum. I am well aware that I have an excellent relationship with my sister. I have a fantastic select group of friends. My soulmate is all wrapped up in the cutest, furriest cat. I continue to climb the ladder at work no matter how many times I jump off it. I went from being homeless to having my place. So why not be happy? Why do I always want more? You’re young, have fun, and stop being so morbid. You’re always sad and angry; you’re so emotionally draining and dramatic. You’re so overly excited; grow up. No matter what, I’m just a contradiction.

My heart glows, illuminates, and radiates like fireworks on the 4th of July. Unconditional, incredible, indescribable love. A bond, I believe, was established in another lifetime. My soulmate I finally found. I thank God for listening to my prayers because they brought me back to you, the love of my life, previous lives, afterlives, and everything in between. Yours, Ivelisse

Connections that are severed are like broken mirrors. If it’s broken, you can fix it, but you will always see the cracks in the reflection. I don’t make many connections, so even when they are destroyed to the point that they are unrecognizable, I try to put them back together. Sometimes it’s okay to press that block button. Feel the heartache, cry heavy tears, and question it every day; until you don’t.

Why must we be so complicated? In a perfect world, you’d always be right by my side. Now I lay in bed tossing and turning, missing you, craving your cuddles. Your laugh and smile. The way your eyes shine when we exchange I love you’s. But life isn’t a fairytale…